


The Same Deep Water As You

by flickerjax (Stone_Princess)



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Loss, M/M, Rimming, Romance, Season 3 Spoilers, Substitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-09
Updated: 2012-06-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 09:12:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stone_Princess/pseuds/flickerjax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeremy finds himself the only thing between Damon and Alaric's ghost and discovers he wants to share what they had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Same Deep Water As You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kachera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kachera/gifts).



> Thanks to Rhiannonhero for helping me order the events of this fic and for asking questions I wouldn't have thought of. She's been holding my hand through fic writing since the very beginning and I'm so glad of it. And thanks to my bunnylove, Supergrover24, for keeping me tied together, held upright and functioning in my fic writing and in the world. She's never been able to teach me to use a semicolon but she can insert them for me like a champ. I wish I could clone her so she could follow me around in daily life and tidy and fix up all my personal errors like she does with my fic. I think I'd have a pretty spectacular life if it was like that. Thanks to Pleasebekidding for Alaric's scars, they have become canon in my mind.

* * *

Jeremy knocked back what was in his glass and held it out for a refill.

"Careful, Jeremy, people might think I’m trying to get you drunk so I can take advantage of you," Damon said as he poured another couple fingers of Pappy Van Winkle's Family Reserve in Jeremy's glass.

"Are you?" Jeremy replied.

Damon sat next to him on the plush sofa and turned to face the fire. "Do you want me too?"

They were both quiet as Jeremy finished his drink and set it on the table. He turned and tugged Damon's shoulder.

"I miss him too," Jeremy said, when Damon faced him. “Maybe not in the way you do, but we all need comfort. I need something." He leaned in to kiss Damon, drunk on bourbon and his own boldness. 

Truth was, they'd been dancing around this for awhile, the hint of it hanging between them every time Damon brought up Alaric. 

It wasn't like Jeremy didn't know what they’d shared. He had walked in on them enough times before Alaric had died. But it was sort of like a game they all played, 'let's pretend this never happened.' And who knows how many times Damon might have wiped it from his memory. Indeed Jeremy was careful to always keep his vervain bracelet on now, because of how many secrets he knew. Damon's secrets, things Alaric had told him; it was probably best to keep himself safe, to keep his memory intact.

After Alaric died Damon took great pleasure, much to Alaric's embarrassment, in spelling out the intimate details of their relationship. After a while Jeremy had found he couldn't stop thinking about them—Damon sucking Alaric off, Alaric on his knees for Damon, both of them calling the other’s name as they came. Jeremy knew how deeply they cared for each other. It was hard not to be drawn into that love, to not want to be part of it. Alaric was gone, but Jeremy was here. It might not be like Damon and Alaric’s love, but it was bourbon-fueled bravery, and that was close enough for Jeremy. 

Damon returned Jeremy's kiss, his mouth tasting of bourbon and metal. He was surprisingly gentle, letting Jeremy control the pace. Damon held himself carefully still, until Jeremy gripped one hand in Damon’s shirt and yanked. Damon’s kiss got more heated then, and Jeremy moaned into his mouth, eagerly running his tongue against Damon’s teeth. Damon pushed Jeremy down against the soft sofa, and Jeremy twisted his fingers up into Damon’s hair, dragging him close, when Damon broke the kiss and pulled away. 

“What?” Jeremy asked, breathless, his lips tingling from the passion of Damon’s kiss. 

As Damon wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his gaze fixed on Jeremy’s lips, Alaric’s apparition appeared behind him. His eyes glittered as he took them in. 

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Alaric asked Jeremy.

"He's here," Jeremy told Damon. 

Damon twisted around, his eyes following Jeremy’s gaze. Jeremy’s chest felt tight at Damon’s instinctive search. It didn’t seem fair that Damon couldn’t see or hear Alaric when Jeremy could. 

Jeremy’s heart raced. “He wants to know if I'm sure I know what I'm doing."

"Do you?"

"No," Jeremy admitted. "I'm just doing."

Damon closed his eyes and his brows made a dark curve, dipping down into worry. When he opened his eyes Jeremy was startled, not for the first time, by the blueness of Damon's eyes. And the clarity. 

"Is he okay with this?" Damon asked.

Jeremy looked to Alaric and waited for his answer to Damon’s question.

"I need to know you want it, Jeremy—that you want him, want this," Alaric said, searching Jeremy’s face as he spoke. “But yes, I want to touch him and be touched by him and I can't. You can."

In any other circumstance, Jeremy would have sworn that Damon and Alaric had planned or conspired—plotted, really, since Damon was involved—for this strange threesome. But they were cut off from each other now; Jeremy was the only link left between them. Hands shaking, heart thudding loud in his ears, Jeremy summoned the rest of his courage before he spoke.

"We could go upstairs," Jeremy said, swallowing the fear of rejection, the fear of what the choice meant. 

“Why are you doing this?” Damon asked, an unusual question for him.

“Because Alaric wants you and can’t have you. And because I want to touch you like he did."

For all his bravery in asking, in offering, once Jeremy found himself naked in Damon’s huge bed his body was vibrating with tension. There was no more possibility of right or wrong choices, there was just doing because if Jeremy thought too hard about this he was afraid he'd run and never look back. 

While Alaric stood watching from the middle of the room, arms crossed over his chest, and a studious expression on his face, Jeremy straddled Damon's bare thighs and stared down at the rigid erection straining against Damon's abdomen. Jeremy guessed it wasn't right, given what his relationship with Alaric had been, but everything was different now. Everything was, well, _this_ , and there wasn't going to be anything else. Jeremy was always going to be between them but he didn't have to be on the outside anymore. It could be more than just suffering and loss. He wanted to share their love, too. He wanted to be part of the longing he saw on Alaric's face when looked at Damon. And Damon was unreal, so gorgeous that he might have been made of Jeremy's dreams. Yes, if there was some small pleasure to be found in any of this they might as well all enjoy it.

Jeremy glanced up at Damon and found Damon looking back, smirking, eyes seductively half closed, basically Damon's normal expression. But when he caught Jeremy looking his face softened into genuine desire and perhaps, Jeremy thought, some affection. 

The pounding of his heart was surely audible to Damon, but Jeremy pushed back every emotion except his need, leaned down, and licked up the hard length of Damon's cock. Damon’s hips flexed up, and Jeremy chuckled, before taking the head in his mouth and pushing down, gratified when he heard Damon gasp above him.

Damon's fingers twisted into Jeremy's hair as Jeremy worked over his cock. Gripping too tight, pulling hard. The pain ratcheted down Jeremy's spine and desire raced along with it, throbbing into Jeremy's already hard dick, making Jeremy very aware of how much he wanted Damon, how much he wanted both of them. 

Jeremy slowly slid his mouth off Damon's cock and sat up. "Take off your clothes," he said to Alaric.

"What?" Damon asked, his brows furrowing in confusion.

Jeremy shrugged. "Well, he's just kind of standing there, fully clothed, watching us. It's a little weird." Jeremy raised his eyebrows at Alaric to make a point. "I mean, even if he can't actually participate, he should participate, right?" Jeremy asked, waving his hand toward were Alaric stood in the middle of the room.

Damon looked in the direction that Jeremy had indicated. "Of course he should participate. What are you doing wearing pants, Ric? Get naked!" He turned back to Jeremy. "And you, get back to what you were doing." Damon flopped back onto the mattress, like he was doing all the work here. It should have been annoying, maybe, but in bed Jeremy found the dramatics sort of charming, like seeing the Damon that would otherwise only exist for Alaric.

"Drama queen," Jeremy laughed and was happy as he heard Alaric laugh too. He leaned down over Damon's cock again, his own dick flexing in shared pleasure at the way Damon moaned when Jeremy took him in his mouth.

When Jeremy looked up again, catching his breath, and stroking his hand over Damon's cock, Alaric was naked on the bed with them, though a safe distance away.

"You know, Alaric, you can come closer," Jeremy said.

"Is he still standing out there watching us?" Damon asked, waving his hand to the center of the room. Damon went on, clearly not talking to Jeremy, "There's no point in doing this if you aren't part of it, Ric. While I wouldn't pass up the chance to fuck Jeremy under any circumstances, I think we all know that he's your representative here."

Jeremy felt a jag of pain in his heart at Damon's words, but they were true. They were both doing this so in some fucked up way, Damon and Alaric could be together again. That Jeremy got to have sex was just a bonus side effect.

"It doesn't bother me, Alaric," Jeremy started, keenly aware of Damon paying attention to where Jeremy was directing his words. "Seeing your hand pass through me…it’s not a big deal. I know the incorporeality bothers you, or I think it does, but please, just come closer."

Being a medium, seeing Alaric’s spirit—none of it really bothered Jeremy anymore. Alaric's intangible presence had become sort of normal. It was a push/pull to get him there. Jeremy didn't call for him that often, determined to make his own way, be as adult as he could now that his world was so changed. Still, Alaric was always there when he needed him and Alaric was _always_ there when Damon was. Perhaps because Damon made Jeremy think of Alaric so much or because the real pull for Alaric was Damon and not Jeremy at all. 

Alaric's eyes glittered as he watched them. Jeremy smiled at him. It was ridiculous, but this was the first time he really wished Alaric could touch him. Not just that Alaric wasn't dead, in some vague wish for the way things had been, but a new wish for things the way they were now. Without the heat of Alaric's hands on him, it felt like something was missing.

"So beautiful," Alaric whispered and Jeremy was sure he meant Damon. As if in response to the words he couldn't hear, Damon's hands twisted into Jeremy's hair again.

Alaric, his voice smoky and ragged, coached him. "If you use your mouth right, Jere..." Alaric's face was close to Jeremy's, his fingers hovering over the base of Damon's cock. "You can make him do anything you want, say anything you want. Just look him in the eye, wet your lips and then lean in and lick slowly up the length of his dick."

Jeremy locked eyes with Damon, trying to telegraph at least how much he wanted to enjoy Damon's body into his look, and found that Damon returned his desire. Jeremy licked his lower lip, more anxiety than suggestion, but was pleased when Damon's eyes moved to follow the flick of Jeremy's tongue. Then he followed Alaric’s instructions, and licked another long line up Damon’s dick.

The absurdity of this entire situation would have made Jeremy laugh out loud if it wasn't so fucking hot. And if Jeremy felt a little lost, walking in unmapped territory as the middle man in a weird threesome, he wasn't about to stop. His heart thrummed, pushing bourbon-thick blood into his head, filling it with giddy lust and watering down his doubts. Tomorrow he'd have to remember that bourbon was evil, but tonight it helped to stir up every fiber of his being until he ached to touch Damon more, to make him cry out, eager to feel what pleasure Damon would give him in return. Sharing that pleasure with Alaric made every second dream-like in its intensity.

"Slide your lips over the head," Alaric said. “And move down slowly, keeping your tongue pressed flat against him. You can use your teeth too, a little, if you're feeling daring enough. And careful enough."

"Jere, where'd you learn how to use that pretty mouth so well? I know Alaric is coaching you because I recognize his tricks. But this isn't your first time at the rodeo, is it?"

Jeremy half smiled as he moved his mouth over Damon's cock. It definitely wasn’t the first time he'd done this. Certainly he and Tyler had done it enough times together. Jeremy felt a pang of guilt at that thought. It hadn't been fair to Caroline. And now Tyler was gone, too. They all had really lost so much. Wasn't it fair, now, to do this, to take a little solace in each other? After everything that happened, all Jeremy wanted was for someone to be happy and this was something he could do for Alaric, for Damon. For himself too, the brief escape into sensation and emotion, even if he was only channeling someone else's passions.

Jeremy thrilled at the sensation of Damon's hips bucking up into the hum of Jeremy's laughter. He steadied his weight, one hand balanced on Damon's hip as he wrapped the other around the base of Damon's dick, letting his spit slick it as he worked it in time with his mouth.

Damon's hips thrust up, keeping pace, incautious, nearly choking Jeremy, but Jeremy didn't care. It was that passion that he wanted, that abandon. Damon's hands slipped around Jeremy's jaw and the base of his skull and tugged him up, guiding, until Jeremy's whole body was slipping along the hard plane of Damon's abs, until their mouths met.

Bodies pressed together, eye to eye. Damon's eyes, half-closed and yet so expressive, full of desire, amusement and curiosity. He pulled Jeremy down to his mouth. Damon's kiss was overwhelming, like being pulled down by a riptide. He rolled them as he kissed, pinning Jeremy below him and Jeremy could barely hear Alaric over the pulse-rush thudding in his ears.

"Just let him kiss you, let him take you. There isn't anything more freeing than giving yourself to him." Alaric's voice was far away and Jeremy kept falling into Damon's kisses. Teeth scraped at his lip, Damon's tongue slid over Jeremy's teeth and then Damon opened up to let Jeremy in, to let Jeremy explore his mouth.

"You _have_ done this before," Damon smirked, breaking the kiss. "The little witch let you go all the way? Or was it your vampy girlfriend from before that? Or maybe Matt wasn't just Elena's special friend back in the day?"

"For fuck's sake, Damon, have some tact," Alaric said.

"Alaric thinks you should be more tactful," Jeremy conveyed, leaning up, lips parted, offering himself to Damon's kisses again. Thankfully Damon took the hint instead of talking more.

Damon's ground his hips down, his spit-wet cock sliding deliciously against Jeremy's. Damon's hands held Jeremy down, pinning him at the shoulder and the collarbone, dangerously close to his throat, while his mouth kissed away any notion that Jeremy would want to be anywhere else.

"I could tell you what to expect," Alaric teased. “But it's probably more fun for you to find out on your own. I'll keep to telling what he'd like most. Or what I always thought he liked." Alaric sounded slightly wistful, but Jeremy pushed the pain of that away and left himself fall into the immediacy of Damon's mouth, surprisingly hot against his own.

Jeremy rocked his hips up against Damon, wished for a hand, for more contact, for anything. Damon released Jeremy's mouth and slithered down, nibbling across Jeremy's neck. He moved his hand up, palm dangerously across Jeremy's Adam's apple, while Damon bit and tugged at Jeremy's nipples until Jeremy was whimpering and clutching at Damon's hair to pull him back. Damon's mouth roamed over his ribs and stomach. Jeremy looked down to watch. Damon glanced up, his eyes blackened, before leaning down again. Jeremy felt the sharp scrape of vamp-teeth over his hipbone.

"No," Alaric said and Damon froze as if he heard it. Jeremy turned to look at Alaric, followed the movement of Alaric's hand to his hip, covered in a tracery of fine white scars, each the perfect impression of Damon's teeth.

Jeremy looked back down to Damon, felt Damon's lips close over his hip. Damon sucked a deep purple bruise right across the hard arch of Jeremy's pelvic bone before moving whip fast and pulling Jeremy's legs up over his shoulders, spreading Jeremy beneath him.

Damon's hands flattened over Jeremy's ass, his thumbs opening Jeremy up to assault from Damon's tongue. Jeremy cried out, lifting his hips farther off the bed. Damon's tongue pressing for entrance against his hole was the most intimate touch he'd ever felt, far beyond anything he'd ever done with Tyler.

When Jeremy turned his head to look, Alaric was so close that Jeremy could have felt his breath. If he had breath. Alaric's pupils were blown wide, his face flushed, his chest heaving. Jeremy wanted to close his mouth over Alaric's, to pull him into this mad rush of pleasure, to really share it with him.

"Put your hand in his hair," Alaric said as Jeremy looked back to watch Damon. “Your thumb at the base of his skull, guide him, press when he does something you really like." Jeremy nodded and reached into Damon's black curls. "And tell me, please, tell me how it feels."

"Oh god," Jeremy cried out, as Damon quit teasing the sensitive skin at his entrance and pushed deeper, his thumbs slipping down to open Jeremy wider. "Fuck, fuck," Jeremy rambled, as Damon slowly eased the tip of a spit-wet thumb in alongside his tongue. "It’s fucking amazing, Ric, so good. I don't…I don't know, I feel so good, but so empty. I just _want_ , like my whole body has become longing."

"Yeah, he does that," Alaric chuckled.

"'S like falling over a waterfall," Jeremy slurred slightly, "Don't want it to stop ever… Fuck!" He pressed on Damon's head as Damon chuckled and pushed his thumb into Jeremy's ass, past the tight ring of muscle and Jeremy just opened for him, felt himself relax, gave himself over to Damon's talented mouth.

Damon sat up, his thumb still buried in Jeremy, and carefully scooted them up the bed so he could reach into the bedside table. 

The cool lube was a welcome sensation as Damon liberally squirted it over Jeremy’s asshole, pulling his thumb back and replacing it with a finger.

"You feel so fucking good inside me," Jeremy said, opening his eyes to find Damon watching him. He turned away, unable to meet the piercing green gaze. "Oh he feels so fucking good, Ric."

"I know," Alaric answered. “Tell him what you want." He reached a hand out, as if to push back Jeremy's sweat damp hair and then stopped when he realized he couldn't. Jeremy turned back to Damon, too many emotions warring inside him.

"What do I say?" Jeremy whispered.

"You're so amazing, you fucking bastard, so beautiful. God, I fucking want you. Want you inside me."

Jeremy repeated Alaric's words for Damon's ears, meaning every one of them as if they were his own. Damon pushed a second finger in, rougher this time. His other hand reached up to tug at Jeremy's nipples, then trace fingertips across Jeremy's lips.

"Beg," Damon said.

"Oh Damon, Damon, I could never have enough of you. Please, fuck me. Oh god I want to feel you, feel you take me. I want your hands on me everywhere, your mouth. I want you to make me feel you, fuck me, fuck me so hard, just please, more." Alaric's voice was barely controlled, the passion growling a ferocity into it that Jeremy had never heard before.

"Please, fuck me…" Jeremy started, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. The intimacy and longing in Alaric's voice was too much for Jeremy to repeat the first part, but he carried on, repeating the rest. 

"What a dirty mouth you have," Damon said, stretching up to kiss the rest of the words away after Jeremy's second 'please.' "I can see how much you need it though, so I suppose I can be bothered." He slicked more lube over the head of his cock and pushed, surprisingly gently, for entrance to Jeremy's ass.

"Can you take this? Are you sure?" Alaric asked. Jeremy just nodded, his eyes finally trapped in Damon's gaze as Damon pushed so slowly, so achingly slowly, into Jeremy's body.

Jeremy pulled his knees up to his chest, urging Damon on. "I just want you, want you so much. Oh god, it's like I can only feel you, like nothing else exists. It hurts, Damon, but please, don't stop, though, please, oh god, I want you." 

Damon closed his eyes and started a slow rhythm, never quite pushing all the way in. Jeremy turned to find Alaric still next him, so close they almost could have touched. 

"I want you," Jeremy said to Alaric, words coming out breathless, matching the tempo of Damon's increasing thrusts. "It has to be enough to be here, be wanted like he wants you, but without you…" Jeremy trailed off and turned away, turned into his body, feeling only the stretch and burn of Damon breaching and the sudden sparks of pleasure as Damon changed his angle, thrust harder, thrust deeper. Jeremy rocked his hips back, trying to take more of Damon into him.

"So tight," Damon said, falling forward, his mouth on Jeremy's jaw. "So beautiful."

Jeremy let himself fall out of reality. Imagined what Damon would have said to Alaric, imagined Alaric's hands on him, the three of them together in life, touching in ways they never would have dared. He thought of how Alaric's lips would have felt against him. He remembered all the times he'd found Damon and Alaric twined together, the way Damon looked at Ric. Like the way he looked at Elena, but with more heat, less restraint. He imagined he could feel Alaric all around them. He tried to feel what Ric must have felt, what it felt like to be fucked by someone you loved so much you'd forgive them anything. Jeremy cried out when Damon wrapped a hand around his dick and jerked hard.

It wasn't long before Jeremy was coming, hard, light breaking up into stars behind his eyes, everything greying out for a second as he shuddered through the thunderous twist of his orgasm. He squeezed hard at the hand in his and looked up at Damon above him and then down to their twined hands. But it wasn't Damon's hand, it was Alaric's. Alaric looked as stunned as Jeremy felt and squeezed back.

"Ric," Jeremy started.

"Ric," Damon echoed, hoarsely, and his teeth pressed into Jeremy's shoulder, drawing blood as he came, while Jeremy and Alaric stared at each other, unable to let go of each other.

They all lay still for a moment, finding their way back into the world.

"Ric," Jeremy said again, reaching out, but Alaric was vapor again, whatever substantially the moment had given him was gone.

"Sorry," Damon said, pulling back. He bit his lip until it bled freely and then kissed Jeremy's own blood mixed with Damon's into his mouth. "You'll heal faster," he said when he pulled back, pulling slowly out of Jeremy and rolling off the sticky mess between them, until he was laying between Jeremy and the space that held the shape of Alaric.

Jeremy watched as Alaric reached to stroke a hand down Damon's chest, but couldn't. The look of loss on his face was more heart breaking that Jeremy could bear. "I'm sorry," he said, "I don't know what happened, I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay," Damon said, kissing him again, mouth still bloody. "We all lost him. We're just doing the best we can here with what we have." Alaric nodded from behind Damon and Jeremy closed his eyes.

It was wrong on so many levels for Jeremy to be with either of these men. But there was love in this room. The kind of love that neither Damon, nor Alaric, felt for Jeremy and yet somehow he felt himself filled with it. A conduit. He was flushed with, the heat of it.

The bed shifted next to him and he rolled over, felt Damon's hand brush his cheek and he opened his eyes to find Damon on his side watching Jeremy.

"Thank you," Damon said.

Jeremy watched the two of them for a second. "Do you always sleep like that?" He asked.

"Like what?" Damon answered.

"Not you. Alaric. He's just, like curled up behind you, his chest to your back, his face in your neck. You can't feel him though, can you?" 

Damon closed his eyes. "Sometimes I think I can feel him, but then I think I'm just wishing, just remembering."

"Well now you know it's because he's there, with you."

Damon half smiled, almost a smirk. He reached down and cupped Jeremy's jaw, looked into his eyes. "Really, thank you for this," he said. "Now I want you to forget it. All of it. The whole evening. You'll wake up in your own bed and remember only that you drank with me and talked to Ric and then I drove you home."

"This isn't something we should have included you in. I'm sorry," Alaric said.

For a second Jeremy almost laughed at the ridiculous idea that Damon would even try to compel him. And then he realized that his vervain bracelet was on the bedside table. Stripped off with the rest of his clothes.

"Go to sleep," Damon said. "You won't remember this in the morning."

Jeremy just closed his eyes and dreamt of Alaric's hands, of the heat of his body, of their fingers twined together.

~finis~


End file.
